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21 juin 2006

Quand on dit Duke Nukem FOREVER

Si vous ne connaissez pas les jeux vidéo, laissez-moi vous présenter Duke Nukem Forever. Ce jeu, qui a été annoncé, oh, je ne me rappelle même plus en quelle année, est le titre qui fut le plus longtemps en développement. À l'époque, le jeu devait paraître sous l'engin de Quake II. Puis, il fut retardé, retardé, retardé et encore retardé, notamment parce que 3D Realms a constamment changé d'engin et qu'elle veut rendre le jeu "le plus parfait possible". Et aujourd'hui, non, le jeu n'a toujours pas été lancé et est encore en développement. Le jeu est en développement depuis si longtemps que le distributeur 2K Games a récemment offert 500 000$ à 3D Realms si cette dernière pouvait sortir le jeu avant l'an prochain, ce que la compagnie a refusé. Mais voici quelques preuves que le jeu est en développement depuis des lustres ou, pour faire sa mauvaise langue, depuis des siècles:

The following things have happened since Duke Nukem Forever was announced...

Popular Video Game Series Releases


Final Fantasy:

  • Main Series
    • Final Fantasy VII
    • Final Fantasy VIII
    • Final Fantasy IX
    • Final Fantasy X
      • Final Fantasy X-2
    • Final Fantasy XI
    • Final Fantasy XII
  • Cell Phone Games
    • Before Crisis: Final Fantasy
    • Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
    • Dirge of Cerberus: Lost Episode
  • Tactics Series
    • Final Fantasy Tactics
    • Final Fantasy Tactice Advance
  • Crystal Chronicles Series
    • Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
    • Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates
    • Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearer
  • Remakes
    • Final Fantasy Collection
    • Final Fantasy Anthology
    • Final Fantasy Chronicles
    • Final Fantasy Origins
    • Final Fantasy I & 2: Dawn of Souls
    • Final Fantasy III DS
  • Games Featuring Final Fantasy Characters
    • Ehrgeiz
    • Kingtom Hearts
    • Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
    • Kingdom Hearts II
  • Movies, Anime Series & Concerts
    • Final Fantasy: The Sprits Within
    • Final Fantasy: Unlimited, Entire Series
    • Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
    • Final Fantasy: Dear Friends, Entire World Tour

Grand Theft Auto:

  • Grand Theft Auto
    • Grand Theft Auto, Gameboy Color Port
  • Grand Theft Auto
  • Grand Theft Auto: London 1969
  • Grand Theft Auto: London 1961
  • Grand Theft Auto 2
  • Grand Theft Auto III
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
  • Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
  • Grand Theft Auto Advance
  • Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
    • Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, PS2 Port
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
  • Grand Theft Auto IV

The Legend of Zelda:

  • Ocarina of Time
  • Majora's Mask
  • Oracle of Ages
  • Oracle of Seasons
  • The Wind Waker
  • Four Swords Adventures
  • The Minish Cap
  • Six remakes of previous Zelda titles for the Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance and Gamecube
    • Link's Awakening DX, Gameboy Color
    • A Link to the Past, Gameboy Advance
    • Ocarina of Time, Gamecube
    • The Zelda Collector Edition, Gamecube
    • Classic NES Series: The Legend of Zelda, Gameboy Advance
    • Classic NES Series: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, Gameboy Advance
  • Phantom Hourglass
  • Twilight Princess

Other Popular Game Series:

  • Over 75 games based in the MegaMan universe, and 12 games featuring MegaMan universe character cameos.
  • Over 50 games based in the Star Wars universe.
  • Mario has appeared in 58 different video games.
  • Every Massive Multiplayer Online game and expansion with the exception of Meridian 59.
  • Every Dance Dance Revolution and Bemani rhythm game
  • Every Pokemon game released outside of Japan.
  • Every Unreal, every Unreal Tournament, and every game that has used any of the Unreal engines.
  • Quake 2, 3, 4, and countless games that have used their engines.
  • Every Tony Hawk and extreme sport spin-off game.
  • Daikatana began development 10 days before Duke Nukem Forever- Unfortunately no one was made John Romero's bitch when it hit retail shelves on May 23rd, 2000.
  • 3DRealms and Remedy bring Max Payne and its sequel from concepts to finished games, porting both to Xbox and PS2.
  • Valve released both Half-Life 1 and 2, with several expansion packs and countless mods for each.
  • Every version of Counter-Strike and Counter-Strike Source were developed.
  • Every Thief game.

Video Game Systems:

  • Microsoft XBOX
  • Microsoft XBOX 360
  • Nintendo GameCube
  • Nintendo Gameboy Color
  • Gameboy Advance
    • Gameboy Advance SP
    • Gameboy Micro
  • Nintendo DS
    • Nintendo DS Lite
  • Sega Dreamcast
  • Sony Playstation 2
    • Sony Slim Playstation 2
  • Sony PSP
  • Over 4500 games were released for the above video game systems in the United States.
  • Over 350,000,000 consoles and handhelds were sold worldwide.

Fun Facts

Computers & Internet:

  • In 1997, the fastest consumer internet connection was a 33.6 kbps modem. On average, consumer internet connections are 300 times faster today.
  • When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the fastest processor available to consumers was a 233Mhz Pentium. Since then the clock speed of consumer processors has increased over 16 times (32 times counting dual cores), and the fabrication process has decreased from 250nm to 65nm.
  • In October of 2001, Apple announced the iPod and Slashdot dismissed it as an immediate failure. Since then there have been 5 generations of iPods, as well as the iPod Mini, iPod Shuffle, and iPod Nano with 42 million iPods sold worldwide as of 1/06.
  • Steve Jobs was still running NeXT when Duke Nukem Forever was announced.
  • Every peer to peer file sharing program including Napster was developed.
  • In April of 1997, Google, eBay, and the term "weblog" didn't exist.
  • Linux gained at least 10 times the popularity it had while its kernel tripled in size.
  • Mac OS switched to UNIX and became the most highly regarded general purpose operating system on the market among the computing press.
  • Microsoft released 5 consumer-oriented versions of Windows and might release Vista before Duke Nukem Forever hits shelves.
  • Netscape Navigator 4 was released, Microsoft Internet Explorer destroyed it. Netscape 6 released on an entirely different rendering platform, Netscape dies, Mozilla foundation rises. Open-source Mozilla browsers become popular and force Microsoft to start working on new version of Internet Explorer.
  • Valve releases Steam and sets a new standard in digital software distribution.

Disasters:

  • There have been 125 hurricanes. 73 in the Atlantic, 52 in the Pacific.
  • There have been over 20 death-toll producing tornado outbreaks in the United States.
  • Over 50 major earthquakes have shaken the world.

Economy:

  • Adjusted for inflation, the average price of gas in the United States has doubled.
  • The Euro was introduced as a new European currency.

Movies that were filmed, released in theatres, and have made it to DVD:

  • All three Star Wars prequels.
  • The entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, with extended editions.
  • Every Pixar movie aside from Toy Story.
  • Three (possibly four) James Bond films.
  • Every movie, animation, and video game from The Matrix series.

Pop Culture:

  • Britney Spears' entire musical career as a pop star has taken place during Duke Nukem Forever's development.
  • Theater box office totals since the announcement are over $2.62 billion.
  • Colin Farrell's entire movie career has also taken place during development.
  • The concept of Bullet Time has been developed, pioneered, and completely run in to the ground.

Science & Technology:

  • The Voyager 1 spacecraft has travelled 8.8 billion miles from Earth.
  • The two Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity were proposed, authorized, announced, designed, launched and successfully landed upon Mars where they have been exploring the surface for over 2.5 years.
  • NASA's Deep Impact program also went full circle.
  • The International Space Station was assembled and has been orbiting Earth for over 8 years.
  • NASA has launched 30 manned space shuttle missions, Russia has launched 17.
  • The Airbus A380 "Super Jumbo" plane was designed, built, tested, and delivered to airlines.
  • Tier One developed, built, tested, and launched SpaceShipOne- winning the Ansari X-Prize for being the first non-government organization to launch a reusable manned spacecraft into space twice within two weeks.
  • In 1997 there were only 50 million US cell phone subscribers in the United States. Today there are more than 200 million, which amounts to over 60% of the population of the USA.
  • The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan (the largest nuclear-powered aircraft carrier in the world) was in contract, built, launched, comissioned, and began active duty.

Sports

  • Since the announcement of Duke Nukem Forever, the single season home run record has been broken. Twice.
  • The Red Sox broke their curse by finally winning the world series.

United States Politics:

  • The Identity of Deep Throat has been revealed.
  • 40 new members have been elected to the Senate.
  • The national debt has increased by over 3 trillion dollars.
  • The national minimum wage has remained $5.15.
  • Bill Clinton finished his presidential term, George W. Bush was elected and re-elected.

World Events:

  • 4 nations have acquired nuclear weapons technology.
  • 19 wars have begun.
  • 5 wars have ended.

Things that have taken less time than Duke Nukem Forever's Development:

Pop Culture:

  • The Beatles formed, released every single one of their albums and broke up. During this time they also toured the world several times.
  • Led Zeppelin released 7 albums, 9 singles, and toured around the world, crossing international borders 27 times (not counting mainland Europe.)

Science & Technology:

  • The Wright brothers designed and flew the first airplane.
  • The theory of General Relativity.
  • The United States' entire program to put a man on the moon, from Kennedy's challenge to the landing.

Wars:

  • The American War for Independence
  • The United States Civil War
  • World War I
  • World War II and the entire Manhattan Project.
  • The United State's involvement in the Vietnam War.
Merci à Francis et patientez, le jeu finira bien par sortir un jour...